You clicked everything. That's the kind of thoroughness that gets you either a fellowship or a psych consult. Respect either way.

Here's the honest part.

Medicine is heavy. It's heavy on purpose — the stakes are real, the hours are real, the pager is extremely real. Everyone who works in a hospital carries some version of that weight, and everyone finds a way to set it down for a minute. Some people run marathons. Some people bake bread.

I build things.

The Lab is where the jokes live, but the jokes are load-bearing. Every experiment in here started as a real moment on a real shift — the 3AM page about a potassium of 3.4, the transfer that was “leaving now” for six hours, the fourteen clicks it takes to order one Tylenol. You can let those moments grind you down, or you can turn them into something that makes the next resident laugh in the elevator. This site votes for the second option.

One rule governs everything here: nothing mocks a patient. The targets are the systems, the software, the coffee, and — lovingly — ourselves. If a joke ever reads otherwise, tell me and it's gone by morning.

The serious work lives on the other side of this site — the journal summarizer, the cath lab simulator, the EMR built from scratch. This wing exists so the serious work stays good. Rested people write better notes and better code.

Thanks for reading all the way down. Clearance upgraded. There's nothing past this page.

Now go chart.