Spin the wheel when nobody knows which specialty to consult

Infinite scroll of attending archetypes. The algorithm knows you didn’t pre-round.

Flight-tracker for the transfer that’s been “leaving now” since 3pm. ETA: theoretical.

Lo-fi beats to auscultate to. That S3 gallop? It’s a drum loop now.

Spy-movie escape routes from your workstation to the parking lot. Plot your exit during chart review.

Half-life of cafeteria coffee through a 24-hour shift. Predicts your crash.

Speedrun timer for placing one Tylenol order. WR: 47s. BPA fires twice.

Cryogenically freezes every page between 2am and 5am. Thaws them at 6:45, right before sign-out.

Detects free food within a 3-floor radius of any hospital

Real-time heatmap of empty call rooms in your hospital

Why any of this exists. The one file in here with no jokes in it. (One. Maybe two.)